Da Nang is great place to live, you are not harassed by hawkers that try to get you to buy what ever it is they are selling like you are in Hoi An or other towns on the backpacker trail but when you first move here it can be incredibly lonely. There are very few expats living in Da Nang and seeing another westerner is a rarity. Don't get me wrong that is why I came here I wanted to experience what it was like to live in Vietnam not in Australia, I just didn't think I would ever feel as alone as I did my first week of work, I truly hadn't considered it and that is probably why it hit me so hard.
My first day of work there was much confusion of what I was doing here and what work I would be doing. It seemed to be completely in my hands this overwhelmed me as I had no idea about the environment I was working in, what the skill level of the lifeguards was and was unable to communicate with most of the people I came into contact with. This just left me feeling so incredibly alone that I just wanted to go home. This situation was not helped in the slightest when I out went for dinner and asked for a table for one the waitress responded with "just lonely", I replied yes just lonely and desperately fought the urge to burst into tears all over again.
Tuesday was a significant improvement, after talking to the aussie expat that was the driving force behind Da Nang Beach SLSC it turned out I did actually have things to do and I felt a whole lot better about my abilities to actually complete the assignment. All was well I had even found an apartment to live in things were looking up. Then Wednesday morning hit me like a tonne of bricks and all I wanted to do was go home and hang out on the couch with my family and friends. I regretted my decision to work as a volunteer rather than go backpacking and spent another day in tears. I'm not normally a crier and the possibility that I would ever feel like this had never crossed my mind, I am a happy, bubbly person and I can handle just about anything by putting on a brave face but it appears that when I do fall apart I do it really well. Nothing like being alone in a foreign country to find that one out!
By Thursday I had resolved that I had to pick myself up and get on with it, going home was not an option especially during week 1. I jumped online and read about culture shock, homesickness and a few south east asia travel blogs and this lead me to believe that this would pass if I could look to the short term rather and distract myself. So I began a countdown to when I would see my family and friends next and made plans for a weekend in Hoi An.
I worried about putting it out there how depressed I felt and I did feel depressed the only thing I could liken it to was grief. It was so intense that the word home or family put a catch in my throat and tears to my eyes. I think it is important to put on here just how bad I felt both for myself and for future reader of this blog. The one thing that truly puled me out of my slump was reading that other travelers had been through similar feelings and that they got through it so hence I have shared my story. I still miss home so much but I can't live there forever and it's time for me to get out there and see the world, home will still be there and my family and friends will still love me when I get back.Now is the time to open a new chapter of my life and I have come to realise that it is not as easy as it sounds but that is what makes it all the more worth while.
UPDATE: I have now found a great bunch of friends and am absolutely loving life here, it does pass it's just part of the adventure. Life isn't always perfect but life in Da Nang is coming pretty close.
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